Why in the world do you need to read a book on marriage? You get the jist of it, right? When you have your first child, you read all the baby books you can. You look up all kind of information online. You talk to your doctor. You get advice from anyone that has ever had a child. Why? Because you're stepping into a new realm, and you may know some stuff, but you don't know everything and you want to do it right? So why don't we do the same with marriage? Why do we tend to think we know it all? Why are we so resistant to the idea of premarital counseling? Men are especially bad at thinking they dont need any kind of advice in marriage. They think that everything is fine. But the numbers don't lie. If 50% of marriages end in divorce, then we obviously aren't doing something right. We need some kind of model to base our marriage on.

ABSOLUTE unselfishness - This is the biggest, most important, most hugest thing in a marriage. The definition of love in it's purest form, is ABSOLUTE unselfishness. Unselfishness is love in action. It's putting yourself last, in everything. If you had two married people, that were both completely unselfish, then everything would work itself out. The rest would just be details. You have to be willing to go more then half way on compromises. You have to be willing to do anything, go anywhere, and give up everything for that person. Doesn't mean you have to, but you must be willing to if needed.

Communication - Communication is crucial in any relationship. We need to realize that we can't read minds, and other people can't read our mind. If we don't tell people how we feel or what we're thinking, we can't expect them to know. We can prevent so many problems, fights, and issues with proper communication. Many times arguments are misunderstandings that result in a lack of knowledge. Communication is usually a good indicator of how a relationship is going. If there is good communication in a relationship, then chances are, the relationship is healthy. If there is little or no communication, then the relationship isn't doing very well.

True forgiveness - Forgiveness is an important character trait to learn in life. By now you have learned that no one is perfect. We all have flaws and we all make mistakes. Chances are, there are going to be many people in life who let us down, hurt us, and do something that isn't right. This doesn't mean we need to expect everyone that we come in contact with to hurt us, but we need to realize that it does happen. We need to learn to forgive people. We are so quick to want someone to forgive us when we do something, yet when they do something to us, we won't even think of forgiving them. Chances are, we will hurt and let a lot of people down in our lifetime as well. We need to be willing to truly forgive people when they make a mistake. If we don't then we are carrying around a lot of excess baggage that we don't need to. You can't be in a healthy relationship if there is unforgiveness. And you might not forget what the person does, but if you truly forgive them, it doesn't matter, and you've let it go.

Sense of humor - We need to realize that you only have one life, and life is short so we need to have fun. We need to loosen up a bit and not be so serious and uptight all the time. You should be able to have fun with your spouse, be goofy, and just enjoy the time you spend together. You should be able to tease and play with them in a joking manner. Laughing and having a sense of humor can cure a lot.

Hard work - Being married can be hard work in the beginning. You have to make serious adjustments, make big compromises, and really let a lot of things go as the two of you form into one entity. But the hard work you put in, and the sacrifices you make, can lead to a lifetime of joy.