If you ask a lot of girls if they deserve to find a good guy, there are a surprisingly number of girls that will tell you, "I don't know." Now this seems kind of shocking that a good majority of girls say that they dont know. What they're really saying, is "I don't know if I deserve to be happy." There is nothing that makes someone happier than finding someone that truly loves and cares for them. So why do a lot of girls think this way?

I think that there are two main reasons a lot of girls feel that they don't deserve a good guy. The first reason is that a lot of people grow up in a broken home, where there is no father, or if he's there, he isn't much of one. This actually has more impact on a girl's life then most realize. The reason for this is that as the girl grows up, her perception of marriage is flawed, because there isn't a REAL father figure in her life. Her idea of "father" couldn't be further from what a real father is. Her perception is that marriage is more then likely just a mangled mess of a relationship, where her she can see that her mom isn't happy, because the father either is gone, or because he treats the mom like garbage.

The other main reason why girls don't feel they deserve a good guy is because they have low self esteem. As humans, we generally get our self esteem from other people. And as true as this is, it is even more true for girls. Girls get their self esteem from guys. As they are very young, if they have a father that tells them that they are beautiful and that he loves them, this creates a great foundation for the girl. But if the girl doesn't have a father like this, or a father at all, she has to look somewhere else for self esteem. As she goes through grade school, and reaches junior high, questions about herself swarm around in her head. She wonders if she's pretty. She wonders if she's worth anything. And if she didn't have that father laying that foundation, she will look for that self esteem somewhere else.

You will notice that the majority of girls without a good father figure always have to have to have a b/f. She can't go very long without one. You will also notice this certain girl will get more physical with a guy then a girl with a good father figure. The reason is because she is looking to fill the void that a good father fills. She doesn't have the self esteem or confidence that comes with a good father. So she has to find it in boys her age, or older. And while she's looking to fill that emotional void, more often then not, the guy is looking for something else. The girl will do physical stuff with the guy, because she says "she loves him," while the guy is just looking for something physical. And because the guy knows that he holds the upper hand in the relationship, because the girl longs after him and his approval, he will take advantage of her. He will get away with whatever he can from the girl, including treating her like crap, getting physical, and even her buying him things. The girl will put up with this, because she "loves" him, and she never had a good model of what a relationship looks like because of her parents.

Now this creates a vicious cycle. The girl has very low self esteem, and will settle for any guy she can get. The girl will do anything for the guy she's with, and the guy knows this. So he will treat her like crap, and use and abuse her. Now this makes her self esteem even lower, because she thinks this is what she deserves. So when the guy leaves her for another girl, she is heartbroken. But because of her low self esteem, she once again, looks for that same type of guy that will treat her like crap.

The first thing that every girl needs to realize, is that they do deserve a good guy, and they do deserve to be happy. It doesn't matter what you look like, how tall or short you are, or any other characteristic, you deserve to be happy. Life is too short to be unhappy. Don't buy into the lie that you don't deserve a good guy, because that couldn't be further from the truth.

If you are one of the unfortunate ones who maybe grew up in a broken home, you have the opportunity to turn things around. Usually, good or bad habits are passed on from one generation to generation. We imitate what we see. But instead of imitating your parents, use that is motivation on what you DON'T want in your life. Break the cycle, and start a new and good habit for yourself, and for your kids to follow.