When you talk about sex, there is a variety of different ways you can go with it. Sex is just one of those things that has such a broad spectrum that you can talk about for days on end. It is also a very controversial subject, where people don't always see eye to eye. I'm going to try and do this as honest and tasteful as possible. But I do believe in God, and without getting too spiritual, I think I will start with what the Bible says about sex. You might actually be surprised.

You can only have sex with your spouse
No sex with relatives
No sex with same sex
No sex with an animal
No lusting after another person
Do not withhold sex from your spouse
God made sex to be pleasurable

This is basically what the Bible says about sex. So based upon those rules, I have come up with what I think is unhealthy and healthy sex-wise.

NOT HEALTHY

Pornography - This is one of those things that people have different views on. And I'm not here to force my moral on anyone. But I do want to share with you some information about pornography. Right now pornography among married men is at an all time high. Pornography is an addiction just like a drug. It might start off light. But then you get used to it, and you want something harder and more perverse. And then that gets boring so you want something even harder and more perverse. Just like a drug. And just like any addiction, it takes you farther then you wanted to go, and it keeps you longer then you wanted to stay. Pretty soon it affects other parts of your life. You don't want your spouse to find it, so you are constantly hiding things and worried. It might affect your sleeping, or other daily routine. Pretty soon, it starts to control your life more then you thought it would.

What about if the couple watches it together. There are many problems with pornography, but in this aspect, it isn't real. It creates this magical world where everything seems perfect, almost like a magazine model. You never know what's going on in the brain of your spouse. It might create doubts about their own body or whatever else. And just like with one person, it can also be like a drug and lead to other things. It's just one of those things, that if you have a healthy relationship, you really don't need it.

Other people - This is basically the same as pornography. I just don't think that you can have a truly healthy relationship if other people are involved in your sex life.

Television - It has been proven that people who have televisions in their bedroom have sex less then people without televisions in their bedroom. So if you have a television or other distractions in your bedroom, toss it out. I believe the bed should be used for 2 things and 2 things only, sleeping and being intimate.

HEALTHY

Lust after your wife - When you talk about lusting, it is one of those words that has a negative connotation. And for the majority of the time, it is used in the negative sense. But something that you must do, is always lust after your wife. You need to let her know that she's beautiful, let her know that she's sexy, and let her know that she still has it. She should know that you lust after her, and have dirty thoughts about her. If you don't, then she will feel disconnected from you, and might find it elsewhere.

More and more married women are going online to find something that they're not getting from their husbands. Many times this is in the form of an emotional attachment. The woman feels disconnected from her husband emotionally. She doesn't feel beautiful. But online, she meets a guy that tells her that she is beautiful. They start talking, and all of a sudden, she has this connection she hasn't had in a while. She feels beautiful, something she hasn't felt in years. But if you are always lusting after her, she won't have any need to look for it elsewhere.

Diversity - You need to mix things up. If you are always intimate at night, try doing it in the morning. Try differnet places. Try being intimate in the shower. Maybe take a drive somewhere and do some "old fashioned high school making out." I don't want to dive too deep into this topic, but you can use your imaginations, or buy books with plenty of examples. But we all get bored with normal routines. The key to great intimacy is spicing things up and mixing things up.

Sex is usually a good indicator of how your marriage is. Sex is almost never the problem, but it is almost always an effect or indicator of a problem. If your sex life isn't very good, chances are, there are other areas of your marriage, such as emotional problems or connections that are hindering it.